Ten things I learned about myself in 2020

Afternoon Shadows, acrylic, original painting, 14 x 18, contemporary impressionism, Kit Miracle

It’s not quite the end of this dreadful year but we’re close enough that I thought I’d spend a little time reflecting.  This is what I learned about myself.

I am happy to be a hermit.

I’m a sociable person and enjoy visiting with friends and family, but actually, I am happy spending time alone.  Never lonely.  Just alone.  Quite a difference.  I didn’t even notice this until my husband pointed out that I hadn’t left the property for over a week.  And the problem with that is?  Fortunately, he loves to do the grocery shopping (yes, really!) so I only have to venture out to the big box store about once a month for other supplies and necessities. And the post office and library.

I would rather eat Cheetos and drink wine than exercise.

I am not proud of this.  I used to exercise every day and ride my bike about ten miles a day, in nearly any weather.  This year, not so much.  It’s just so easy to sit on the patio with a good book and some crunchy snacks and my favorite adult beverage.  This will be remedied in 2021. 

I love my libraries.

This is really not any news, but my local libraries have gone above and beyond the call in order to supply books to their patrons.  I could order books online and they would be delivered to my tiny local library within a few days.  This saved me about 50 miles round trip.  Yes, books are this important in my life.

UPS delivers (and FedEx and USPS).

Except when they don’t.  Isn’t it so nice to be able to order practically anything you want online and it will be delivered to your door?  In this rural area, I see the same delivery people all the time.  My mail carrier has a personal relationship with my “big scary dog.”  These are really hardworking, conscientious people.

But…as an Etsy seller, I did have some trouble with deliveries this season.  I would mail out the package – usually within a day – take it to the local post office.  They would get it out the same day.  And then….where did it go?  Many of my shipments ended up in a great black hole.  I was so embarrassed as I truly believe in providing good customer service.  Fortunately, everyone was very understanding.  All but two packages arrived before the holidays but it was still disappointing.

Where’s your mask?

Last spring when the pandemic started ramping up and masks were difficult to find, I dusted off the old old sewing machine and whipped up a few.  Well, about 200.  I sent them to friends and family.  No charge, just be safe. I was even considering creating a fund raiser for local food banks but by that time everyone had jumped on the band wagon and masks were easy to find.  That’s good.  I decided that I didn’t want to spend all my time sewing.  I mostly want to paint.

But…I can’t believe how mad I could get when I saw people who weren’t wearing masks.  Either they flunked science or were sleeping in the back of health class.  Didn’t they know that masks could prevent the spread of germs?!  Grumble grumble grumble.

I’m really really tired of politics.

Not only did we have the challenge of the pandemic, job losses, no fun activities, no vacations, but we were inundated with political ads and pundits.  It was totally crazy.  But my husband and I decided to vote in person because it feels real.  I even reregistered just so my signature would match the 35 year old signature on record when I first registered here.

I miss live performances.

After spending so many years as Director of a performing and multi-discipline arts center, I never realized just how much I would miss live performances.  Where people are sitting shoulder to shoulder, enjoying some live music on stage.  A real play or comedy routine. Even the Chinese acrobats!  I can’t wait to get back to some live performance venues.

I miss my family and friends.

We’re used to hosting family and friends for major holidays or summer get togethers.  Not this year.  I haven’t seen my father who only lives about a hundred miles from me since 2019.  And when I visit my son who just lives a few miles away, it’s usually outside and socially distanced.  An elderly friend who’s been a guest at our table for over 35 years is staying home these days.  But we have been taking meals to her when we can.

Living in the country is the best!

It has been such a bonus that we can get outdoors.  We can go for a country drive.  We can sit by the firepit and not see another soul.  My heart aches for all the children who are stuck in apartments or in the city with no outdoor space.  This is no way for humans to live.

I am so proud of all the people who are helping to make our lives better….or at least tolerable.

I am grateful for the food servers and grocery store workers.  For the many medical field workers who put their lives on the line every day.  For the public employees who still take care of the streets and water and sewers and the lights.  I’m grateful for my postman and the people who are still driving trucks across the country to deliver the necessities to people in need. 

I try to keep focusing on the good things in our lives.  On the opportunities, not the troubles.  On the smart people who are working so hard to make the vaccines and medicines which will help us all. 

This has been a trying year.  Yet, despite our differences, we are able to find common ground.  To still remember that we are all humans who are just trying to get by.  And isn’t that what it’s all about?

But I really must work on eliminating those Cheetos.

4 responses to “Ten things I learned about myself in 2020

  1. An outstanding essay. Such a peaceful place. Observations, concerns, and hopes.
    Thank you.

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  2. I like your list. It may inspire me to try one of my own as a blog post. The first, about being a hermit, and the one about country living resonated most. Also the masks. I don’t mind being alone at all, and I’m never lonely when I am. And living in the country is such a blessing in these stressful times. Wishing you a peaceful and joyful New Year!

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